Get Off My Girl
by Photon Rays
Summary: Read Through Leibers wacky zany life as he sets on his never ending quest to woo Maria over and get Fayt away, will he succeed? Probably not. Fayt Maria Leiber, other unimportant couples. T inapropiate terms.
1. Beggining

She's mine 

Description: Watch as we travel through Lieber's life and witness a Zany, wacky, witty, comedy, as he tries to woo in Maria and stop Fayt from stealing his woman. Will he be able to handle this task, probably not.

Disclaimer: Star ocean belongs to those that are aces and squares. I'm not shaped like that.

Lieber walked into the cafe . He gained a tip from one of his subordinates that the love of his life Maria was meeting with a couple friends, intelligence had told him that Fayt would be among them. He had to make sure that his woman wouldn't fall for any other man. He spied from a far away table to the arriving group. As he suspected Fayt sat next to Maria. Lucky for him they sat at the back of the room near the indoor balcony off of the second floor, he would be able to get an aerial view if he went up top.

"Sir, are you going to buy anything?" Asked the lady at the counter of the cafe

" Maybe in a second." Said Lieber

Lieber walked to the end of the balcony to get his view, the shop was dimly lit and the company down below him had a quite way of talking. Even though he could not see who was who at the moment he knew that the four that had walked in they were ; Cliff, Mirage, Maria, and Fayt. He recognized them from high school.

" Damn, one of the larger looking guys is moving towards one that looks more slender." Lieber muttered to himself.

His looks didn't deceive him but Cliff was actually moving closer to Fayt to whisper in his ear, probably something he didn't want the girls to hear, Fayt was shorter and more finesse then Cliff. But Lieber didn't know that. Either way he knew he had take drastic measures sooner or later. He ran to the counter and ordered a bagel. After paying ninety-six cents he went back to his view on the balcony. Luckily he was the best pitch in his baseball league. He wasted no time in chucking the bagel at the two guys, hitting the larger in the head.

" OW, who the fuck threw this bagel" Cliff said rather loud.

Loud enough for Lieber to hear.

' Oh shit' Lieber thought. ' maybe Fayt wasn't going for Maria...yet'

Lieber camped a bit, staying low to make sure they had a hard time seeing him, lucky for him, the two-story cafe was dark, rainy days aren't so bad after all. But the group was constantly moving closer to one or the other. He knew where Cliff was and he knew Fayt was next to Maria, Lieber noticed the janitor open and leave the cleaning closet open, he grabbed the mop bucket which was luckily filled with water he wouldn't have to pay for another projectile.

Lieber lied down again, intent on watching the crew, with his weapon beside him. Twenty more minutes passed, one of the guys (or girls) had rested his or her head on another beside them. Lieber had only meant to wring out the mop over their heads but he accidentally kicked the bucket out from under him, sending itself on its way onto the table below.

"YEAH, my foot" Yelled Mirage

"Holy shit that coffee burns" shouted Maria

" YEEEOOOW, AT LEAST IT DIDN'T LAND ON YOUR-" Fayt started to yell

"OW, first the bagel then this table" Cliff managed to keep his cool, the manager already pulled him aside for a talk about the bagel incident.

Lieber ran to the lady at the counter, and handed the lady a twenty and a five. He knew how much these tables cost, he worked on Tuesdays Wednesdays, and Thursdays and already broke one on accident.

Half an hour after the incident, Lieber walked over to Maria's house and rang the doorbell, he thought the conversation over a bunch of times for different scenarios . No one answered right away but it would be impolite to ring the doorbell again. Someone ran down the stairs. It was Maria, she was a tank top and some sweat pants, and her hair was wet which gave Lieber the impression that she had just came out of the shower.

"Hey Maria, I heard about what happened. I'm really sorry you had to experience that." Lieber made it sound as if he wasn't at the shop but Maria was a bit suspicious.

" Well, If you heard then you might know that this is a bad time. Fayt Sort of, well..." Maria paused for a moment.

"He better not have done something to harm you, tell me what happened." Lieber was hoping for an excuse to severely hurt Fayt, and maybe get the girl in the process.

" Well he..." Maria paused Lieber leaned forward a bit.

" Spit it out woman" Lieber said.

" He has second degree burns all over his balls, its all from the spilt coffee" Maria buried he face into her hands.

"Oh, I feel sorry for him." Lieber was filled with glee but acted as sincere as he could; "maybe this is a bad time. Lieber said a quick 'bye' waved and then strolled off. When he was out of earshot he laughed his face off. He would have to write this in his diary...journal.

Everyone was only two weeks into school. But the work was probably at its prime. But to Lieber that didn't matter, he scorched his enemies' balls, so what if he pulled off a C+ in his English paper. He couldn't stay mad at his teacher for long when she read Fayt's excuse for a half-done paper in class.

" Dear Ms. Kawasaki,

I'm sorry for the trouble but an event came up yesterday that stopped me from finishing my term paper. I would like to ask for a 'one day' extension .

Thanks, Fayt "

" And why, is it, that you could not finish your paper?" Inquired Ms. Kawasaki

"I..." Fayt sunk in his seat very carefully.

" I know why Ms. Kawasaki" Started Lieber but he started laughing right then" he Snort burned (HAHAHAH) His... well he burned his..." Lieber's face was red now. " He has second degree burns all over his balls (AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA)" The whole class was laughing, Fayt crumpled up a piece of paper and threw it at Lieber.

" You little shit" Said Fayt.

"That...hurt" replied Lieber

" There's more were that came from" Fayt threw his entire binder to the back row landing it right into Lieber's neck.

"FAYT GET DOWN TO THE OFFICE NOW" yelled Ms. Kawasaki

Fayt left the room walking in a very funny matter, the class erupted into more giggles. Lieber was about to go into seizure mode he was laughing so hard, Maria glared at him, he just got on Maria's bad side, he was so bent on bashing Fayt he forgot to lye low on the whole thing.

/ Short chapter, but I've got to get up for water polo practice... AT 4:30 IN THE FLIPPIN MORNING...ahem... I'll update soon...like tomorrow or so, but during schools my music and stories will halt...

ALL REVIEWS RETURNED...


	2. Roses are red, puke is red too

Get off my Girl, Chapter 2- 

Description: Watch as we go through Lieber's life as he sets on his never ending quest to woo Maria over and vanquish his arch enemy, Fayt, will he succeed, probably not. Fayt Maria Lieber other unimportant couples. Inappropriate terms.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Ocean, them squares and aces got to it first.

Chapter 2... Jeez I've procrastinated... whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... insert cheesy line from family guy here...

The lunch bell rang and Lieber couldn't have been happier to get away from Maria for a little bit.  
He sat at his usual table, four tables away from the table Maria and her friends sat at, but instead of looking directly at them Lieber turned his back, which started many curious glances in his direction.  
Steeg sat next to Lieber, he usual sat a table over but he couldn't help but notice Lieber's depressed form.

" Finally gave up?" Steeg inquired .

"No, I just got on her bad side during English"

" Man will you ever give up, you know go for someone else?" Steeg started" why don't you just go after someone who is equally pretty and maybe desperate?" Steeg paused for a moment has if he was trying to hold in a chuckle.

" What's so funny STEEG" Lieber emphasized Steeg's name.

"Well in three years you'll be 21 and beer will come into your life. And you know why God created beer don't you?" Steeg paused, Lieber just starred more intently.

"So ugly people like you could have a shot at it too." Steeg was laughing now. Lieber could hear the jocks at the table beside him laughing too. (A/N there is no such thing as a jock table at my school.) Steeg stood up and said to Lieber when he was done laughing;

" Watch and learn" Steeg stood up leaving his food at the table, He walked over to a little area where Clair was standing, he leaned up against the wall and pulled out a flower from his front pocket and did some swirling tricks with it and gave it to her, she gladly excepted and smelled the flower. It looked as if she said a reluctant yes. She walked off to sit with her crew of friends, two tables to the east from Maria's table. Before Steeg returned Lieber grabbed some salt, pepper, and garlic powder and sprinkled as much as he could in Steeg's food.

" Look, Lieber , all you have to do is act casual, sweet talk, ask her to go to the dance with you, hand her a rose , tell her to sniff it, tell her to keep it, and walk off." Steeg handed Lieber a rose. Lieber walked off but turned around ten feet away , he saw Steeg snort and then spit his food out on his plate, he picked up his apple and chucked it at Lieber.

"Yeow, square in the head" Lieber threw the apple back at Steeg but Steeg dodged and it hit the principal, who had his back turned. He fell onto the freshman he was lecturing and went tumbling to the ground. Those who saw the event started laughing, Lieber just continued to Maria's table, he saw her get up to go to the trash bin, he followed.' At least I'll be able to talk to her, away from her friends.

" Hey Maria, sorry about the English incident." Lieber started

"...apology...hmmmmmm... I guess I'll except it." Maria said, she wasn't the type to stay mad, even if it was Lieber we're talking about.

" You've heard about the dance right?" Lieber pulled out the rose Steeg gave him and accidentally dropped it. Maria picked it up.

"Oh, how sweet" Maria held the flower up to her nose.

"Smell it" Lieber said, just as he said it Maria started to look sick, she had a couple of convulsions and then finally turned around and barfed in the trash bin. After she wiped her mouth with a napkin she threw the flower at Lieber

" Nice trick, dumb ass" Maria threw up again and walked off.

The stereotypical jocks table (The word jock is so hard to use, I'm a water polo jock, and there is no jock table...or cool table at my school for that matter.) started laughing the principal decided that now was the right time to wake up. The freshman that was under him managed to escape a couple minutes ago, but now all that was on his mind was the fact that someone threw up all over the trash area.

"LIEBER...MY OFFICE, NOW" The principal was red in the face.

';';';';

"Lieber, your a bright student" The principal paused " You have a 3.2 grade point average" The principal paused again, as if he was mellow or something.

"You okay?" Asked Lieber

"Yeah, I just remember waking up with this bump on my head and" the principal paused for the longest time.

"And?" Lieber said.

"Who are you" started the principal " and what are you doing in my office?"

"Nothing, you just pulled me out of lunch to change my geometry AC grade for a C+ to an A+"  
Lieber smiled " You said the computer slipped."

" Yeah... and...wait a minute" the principal started looking angry" you're the one who was smoking pot at lunch"

"Wait what no... god" Lieber was panicking " you got hit with an apple sir just sit relax and remember"

"Oh I remember, I'm assigning you to twenty hours community service, and you will work for the first two hours of the dance, and you will call me sir from now on and that's final" The principal started typing madly on his computer. "DISMISSED"

End of chapter two...yeah...

Thankz to these reviewers:

Avatar of Venus Kitsurumenokitsune

Maiyoko Iwagashi


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